Home sick

The children and I have been "on the road" for nearly two months.  We have stayed/visited with my parents and with my in-laws and tonight I am extremely homesick.  I miss my husband.  I miss the way our family operates.  The peace and love I feel when we are together is priceless.  I believe I have a confession tonight...for the past year I have taken forgranted our time together.  Of course, i have treasured and enjoyed all of it, but I didn't realize how much I needed it.  When we left Grand Cayman i was ready for a break.  A break from the island and my husband.  I was gettin tired and irritated with things he was doing.  I was also unhappy.  Unhappy with being in Grand Cayman because of the lack of resources.  I was tolarant but dissatisfied with our housing situaution.  I missed friends, like Missy, Leslie, Ariana, Audra, Maryanne, Sarah...all my new girlfriends!  I finally had some great Christian fellowship(might I add, I didnt realize how precious the friendships were when they were so accessible). On a side thought why is the grass always greener on the other side and the past looks so much better than it was?  I miss where we were as a family 1 year ago.  I feel like it was a happy time.  I feel like the past 6 months have been very unstable.  I dont like  change so it's no wonder that when I look back over the last few months i dont find happyiness, but prior to our CRAZY move to Grand Cayman I "feel" like I was happy.  Yet, I very vividly recall being aggrivated with our situation.  I didnt want to be the sole supporter of our family.  So today "yesterday" looks bRighter...

(another side thought: writing a blog on an iphone stinks!, but i am very thankful for my smartphone)

...however, I know that today is making the future brighter, so I am laying my ungratefulness, unhappiness, frustrations, and impatience at the feet of Jesus....Jesus, fill me with your holy spirit, the beatiful fruits of your spirit, lead my family and I on the straigt and narrow path; be a lamp unto our feet.  Help us to remember that this life is not about us.  Strenghten me in the areas that I am weak in....like parenting lately.  Maybe it is that I dont currently have my own domain so I feel inadequate.  Yep, gotta be it.  I cannot run my own home under another woman's roof.  Ugh!  I am more than ready to go home.  

Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to the beauty in my family.  I am so grateful and thankful for my husband and the work that you are doing in our lives.  May You alone receive all the Glory.  


--
Jacqueline Jamieson

http://gentlepeacefulbeauty.blogspot.com/